Tonight, it's supposed to get down into the upper 20s. I've brought as many of the carnivore garden pots in close to the building as I can, but I'm not sure how useful it'll be. Inside, I'm drinking hot herbal tea, and hot mulled cider, burning Christmas tree scented candles, and trying not to think of the coworker who I found out just died last night. Trying not to feel like the weight of four years of stagnation is weighing down on me, pressing down while panic bubbles up from the floor. Trying not to feel weight of the upcoming weeks in which I have but few evenings to myself, followed by the panic of one long gap in which I have nothing but lonliness.
This is hard.
(And now I recall why I'm not blogging much.)
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